you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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