hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
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is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
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They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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