Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
