When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
