Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
