I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
