I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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