I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
