Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
