I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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