How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
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