so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
