I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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