Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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