Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
