I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
