im about as happy as oj after his trial
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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