my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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