So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
wow bdsm is so cute
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
