i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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