Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I need help removing her.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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