Banned from zoo.
Again?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
