I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
