I think my fart just growled at me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He kissed a someone with a penis
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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