I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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