Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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