that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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