I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
