barbara walters just said penis...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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