I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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