nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dick very happy bro
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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