This girl is more easily done than said...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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