why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
