meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
