K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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