Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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