so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
