my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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