He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
