we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Actions speak louder than pants.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
