I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
