Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
