just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
