am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
