I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
