Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
