smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
