I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
