oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
