I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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