You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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