i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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