Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
