What a fucking waste of an outfit
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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