Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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