8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i now understand why vodka
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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