i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
