Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
